12 Reasons NOT TO Move to Salida, Colorado

– – – – – While the locals tend to rave about it, Salida isn’t for everyone. – – – – –
Before packing up everything and moving to Salida, cogitate on some of these disadvantages.

why-not-move1. Jobs – Salida is a small town and the available jobs, especially “real” jobs, are few.  If you need a real income, you might try to bring it with you (as in tele-commuting).  Or, be prepared to be creative in the job arena – most of us here are.  Remember, smart folks are not defined by their job.

2. Restaurants – there are a couple dozen reasonable-to-great restaurants in and around Salida, but if you live for dining out, that may not be enough.  Bring cookbooks, throw lots of dinner parties.

3. Weather – A bit dull.  If you love shoveling snow, this is not the place for you.  Likewise, you are unlikely to be able to enjoy hurricanes, floods, typhoons, earthquakes, tornadoes, and avalanches in town.  You will have to settle for stiff winds and summer thunderstorms for your weather excitement, though we are still hoping for a rousing earthquake.

4. Malls – Salida has great shopping, but no mall for hangin’ with your homies.  Unless you count Walmart as a mall.

5. Tourists – Salida is a tourist town and values its visitors.  Most of the time they are spread thin, but the crowds can be thick during Salida’s many festivals – all those annoying people having fun.  In winter, the flood of skiers sliding in from a day at Monarch can make many local restaurants untenable for locals for supper during ski season.  Do lunch instead.

6. Real Estate prices and Cost of Living – a bit on the high side.

7. Privacy – in town, sometimes non-existent.  You are living in your neighbor’s pocket, a la Maybury.  This is generally a good thing, but can drive some folks crazy.  If you wish to be anonymous, stay away.

8. The Locals – they are cool, hip and friendly, but might be a bit overpowering for newbies.  You will be expected to greet every third person on the sidewalk, to bicycle to work, to recycle, to help friends and acquaintances with every little thing, to go mountain biking (boating, hiking, skiing) often, and to meet friends for a brew on the spur of the moment – unbearable, really.

9. Traffic lights – Sad as it is, Salida now has three (OMG – 3 !!) stoplights – one downtown and two out on Highway 50.  Long-time locals are still complaining about the last two.

10. Big Chain Businesses – Starbucks, Walmart, McDonald’s, Burger King, Pizza Hut, Dominoes, Hampton Inn.  At least most of them are safely away from the town center out on Highway 50 where we can forget about them.

11.  Roads – You’ll love the way everyone looks at your fancy little sports car  … as it makes these horrendous scraping sounds when you drive through the downtown intersections.  If you want to be a local, sell it before moving here!  Salida’s roads have some surprisingly huge dips to direct water flow and many of the county roads are gravel or even 4WD.  Plan to bicycle or drive a gas efficient SUV.  Between rough roads and winding roads, it can seem to take nearly forever to get from point A to B out here.  Keep repeating : Life is a journey, not a destination.

12.  Night life – Well, you can watch your neighbors sit on their front porch and rock.  Seriously, Salida has a surprisingly wide and varied selection of evening activities, music, shows, clubs and such -but nothing at all like the variety and polish of big city entertainment.  You’ll have to see those pesky neighbors at the same event, too.

You may not like Salida if you don't think this is hilarious.
If you don't think this is hilarious, you might not like Salida. (Bicycle handlebars and saddle as a pseudo-Texas longhorn hood ornament).